Beep

Hanging out at my locker before class, I reflect on the earlier events of the night...

While in line to buy beer at a show at Dinwoodie Lounge, here at the University, I apparently started dancing like a music video ho. All in good humour I'm sure. When all of a sudden from my left I hear "What a fucking dirty ho". Next thing I know I'm slapping this dude across the face and cursing at him. I wasn't really sure who said it, I wasn't really sure it was about me, but I turned around in the direction I heard it from and started assulting a random man. How does this fit in with this week's class? Well, I'm going to interpret this man's actions as a product of pop culture. Rap video's for example show girls dancing provocatively and are subsequently referred to as hos/bitches/whores. I'd like to examine the contradictions I see between how I reacted to his behaviour and how in some ways, I perpetuate it.

In our discussion regarding Bell Hook's piece "Postmodern Blackness", we started talking about popular rap music and how we react to it as feminists. I personally think of the music as tongue in cheek. I listen to rap music alot and think it's pretty funny for the most part, but then when I have the comments directed at me personally I get physical. So, how sweet is it of me to think it's funny when it's about "women" and semi far removed from myself, but then freak out when it's directed personally at me? One of the many contradictions I find within myself. We spoke of contradictions as well, and I think it's so odd how our culture is consumed with "finding ourselves". I think contradictions within us are actually quite positive because they allow for slipperiness, but I think the undecided can also produce a "docile body". We should not feel we need to make a decision about everything but take a stance when we need to.

Week Two

As I sit on this rock, Pilsner in hand, I ponder...

The more I learn about Marxist theories, the more the old man appeals to me. This week in the class readings, Betty White gives an overview of the Classical Marxist view on Ideology. Though, this is a basic concept of the reading, we all know how important the foundation of our knowledge is. So this week for my blog, I will put the theory in my own words and welcome my peers to comment on or correct me.

Marx sees "Ideology" as a type of False Conciousness. The ruling class produces Ideology as a normalized and historic mass culture. The opressed groups adopt the opressors Ideology as thier own and therefore end up actually participating in thier own opression. The opressed start acting out discourses like "working hard will get you ahead" and "poor people are lazy". We spoke in class about why the opressed groups are so eager to take on an opressive ideology but I wasn't really satisfied with anything we came up with. I guess this question really goes deeper than just in the context of Marxism, for example why do people believe anythingthey're told at all?

Sometimes I feel like all this stuff is just one big conspiracy theory. Like there are actually people in a room producing discourses just to take advantage of and fuck people up. All the opression and horrible things in the world seem so intentional, and they are to some point. But I think it's just a huge build-up of fuck-ups that people see working to thier benefit so they don't do anything to change it. And it just gets worse and worse. Things never work out by themselves, especially if you just leave them alone. That's another reason why I think feminism is so important. I'm just one little person, but i think that just me even disagreeing with something or someone is powerful in itself.

Vision

As I sit here in my backyard porch swing, Benson and Hedges Menthol Light 100 in my hand, "Honey, go back to bed, Mommy's busy", I ponder my vision for my blog...

My vision for this blog is to create a public space that is a constant work of progress. A space where I have permission to explore ideas and thoughts without having to hand in a "final draft". A space where I can take advantage of the ambiguity the internet offers, and safely explore unfamiliar territory. As a Feminist, I am inclined to immediately reject the idea of working within the system. Through participating in a blog community, I hope to see the power of finding points of resistance within the system of the internet and discover the impact that this type of Feminist collective action can have. Jacqueline Rhodes in "Substantive and Feminist Girlie Action":Women Online speaks of "writing within the discourses that shape us". I can see the most potential for a powerful impact within a blog community that is understanding, sharing, and most importantly safe for it's users to express her/himself.

My blog is feminist because it refuses to define itself. Will you know that just by looking at it? Probably not. Anyone can look at my page and deem it feminist or any other label or not at all. But I'm the one behind the computer and I'm alot more than just what I'm writing. At times my blogs will do me justice and at times they won't but I have a vision for my blog and I will write it as I see fit goddamnit!


LOLZ LMAOZ LOLERZ OMGZ BRBZ LILORSROLSZZZZZ,

Jordan